Effective Communication Strategies for Hard Conversations with Teens
By: Erin Alcamo
Communication is at the heart of all relationships, and is especially import when it comes to our adolescents. Adolescence is notably marked by a time of significant change. Physically, socially, emotionally, and cognitively, teens are at a critical and impressionable stage of development in numerous areas of their lives. While these changes, fast, slow, sudden, or expected, cannot be controlled, what can be controlled is how we respond to these changes and offer our teens the support they need. Listed below are a few effective communication strategies to help navigate these challenging conversations with teens. Whether it be discussing friendships, academics, or sensitive issues like sex and drugs, these approaches can help caregivers stay calm and supportive, even when it may seem difficult.
Have a plan: What are your values around this topic? Have you thought about how you (and maybe your co-parent) want to respond?
Assess the Context: Is this an appropriate physical space to have the conversation? Does your child seem able to have the conversation at this time? Are you able to have the conversation at this time?
Show Undivided Attention: Be present in the moment, phones away, no other distractions.
Help Them Begin: Introduce the topic to open the door to conversation.
Listen Patiently and Refrain From Comments While They Are Talking: Give them space to express themselves and don’t interrupt.
Listen for Feelings and Express Empathy: Utilize reflective listening to express empathy and help them feel understood.
Partner with Them in Exploring Solutions (if applicable): Is this a situation where there might be a solution? Does your child have the skills to navigate this on their own or do they need help? Are they ready to move towards a solution?
Continue these conversations: Revisit and maintain an open door for conversations in the future.
References
Grey, E. B., Atkinson, L., Chater, A., Gahagan, A., Tran, A., Gillison, F. B. (2022). A systematic review of the evidence on the effect of parental communication about health and health behaviours on children’s health and wellbeing. Preventive Medicine, 159, 107043. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ypmed.2022.107043
The Family Institute at Northwestern University (2019, December 12). Skillful Listening Tips for Parents. https://www.family-institute.org/behavioral-health-resources/skillful-listening-tips-parents
